Witness
My story
From brokenness to strength
“I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape” – Charles Dickens
The Base
With over 10 years of experience in palliative care in corporate settings, my background as a physiotherapist, and a curiosity and sensitivity for what lies beyond death, I founded Ceremonify as I navigated my own losses to create a safe space for the deeper layers of grief.
My fascination with death was deeply stirred when I visited the Pashupatinath temple in Nepal at the end of 2017 – a sacred Hindu temple where cremations take place along the riverbanks. There, something was awakened that had long slumbered and lay hidden in the depths. During the Vipassana meditation I practiced there, the foundation was laid for what would later become Ceremonify.
The descent
In the summer of 2018, everything changed. Pregnant and suddenly alone - a period when the grief of carrying it alone hit me, but at the same time the miracle of new life grew. In early 2019, daughter Liv was born, a bright spot that colored my world anew.
For a year I enjoyed this loving little being, until on May 11, 2020, fate struck. My brother Sander, my safe haven and soulmate, drowned during a surfing tragedy in the North Sea. He had always been close by – we had traveled together, surfed together, lived together. Now he was gone, and death came closer than I could have ever imagined.
My whole foundation collapsed. The nakedness of grief hit me deeper than I had expected - the loss rippled through my entire existence like a ripple effect. But in that inward movement, in places I had never been before, something new sprang up. The contrast between my own process and the expectations of the outside world brought out a creative force that ultimately brought Ceremonify to life.
This is me now
From the debris of grief, I have built myself up. I feel enriched by this deepening within me. I have his fate to accept and my destiny to bear. This requires a continuous attunement and movement of me - the mourning flows through me, as it were, and awakens me again and again.
His death represents much loss, everything that will never be again. This black chapter has become part of my life, and my journey is mostly about giving existence to that grief so that we can be fully alive again and truly see and support each other in our full humanity.
‘We are all just walking each other home’ – Ram Dass
“"I would have loved to walk beside you a little longer."
